If You Love Him Set Him Free: Roberto Luongo

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Roberto Luongo has been traded. This trade news was only shocking in that I think people had given up on it ever actually happening. Personally, I found myself feeling nothing but relief and happiness for Luongo when the news broke. I will miss him terribly, because he is both a wonderful goalie and a wonderful person, but Luongo leaving was the best thing for him. It’s like if you read about someone leaving horrific circumstances to get a fresh start in a new country, when you hear about an animal abused and abandoned who ends up in happy home, or like someone escaping prison to live out their days on a tropical island.

I have a lot of Luongo memories I will never forget. This picture after his first playoff win with the Canucks is stuck in my memory for all time.

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My first year as a Canucks diehard, the only way I had access to their games was on the radio, since I was living in a dorm room in Saskatchewan. Tommy Larscheid’s quirky, exuberant radio calls every time Luongo made a spectacular save never failed to make me laugh.

We’re left wondering what would have happened if the Canucks had just a tiny bit more talent and a little more luck while we had the pleasure of Luongo in net.

The trade return the Canucks received for him isn’t all that bad actually. Markstrom and Matthias have struggled certainly, but they are both still young, and there’s no reason why they can’t play a lot better with a fresh start in Vancouver. And I do find it delightful the Canucks now have THREE Swedish goalies. Joe Cannata is going to feel like a bit of an outsider. Heh.

Having said all that though, all of the lead up to this trade is completely terrible and completely on the Canucks. They went from having both Luongo and Schneider, to having neither in less than a year. From two of the better goalies in the league, to a tandem that has not even a full season of NHL experience between them. With all due respect to Lack and Markstrom, who are lovely, that is not great. At all.

On top of that, how are you going to attract premiere free agents or expect great players to waive their no trade clauses to come to Vancouver after seeing how Luongo was treated?

Gillis has done some really good work with the Canucks. But after this goalie fiasco, I don’t see how you can argue he should keep his job.

But anyways, run free Luongo! Enjoy your second term in Florida with your family and friends nearby. You deserve it.

4 More years! 4 More years!

I’m overwhelmed with happiness and boisterous glee that the Sedins re-signed for 4 more years. They are just the best people around and I can’t wait to watch them score beautiful goals for the foreseeable future and (fingers crossed and sacrifices to the hockey gods!) hopefully get that Stanley Cup.

I’m a day late but you know. We can drag out the glee and euphoria, right?

Pavel Bure was before my time as a fan so I don’t think I can add anything worthwhile to that commentary. But I hope all the Canucks fans that loved him have a wonderful time tonight!

I made a blingee to commemorate the Sedins signing:

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Then! I read this totally swoon-worthy post where John Tortorella basically said if you think the Sedins are soft players you’re wrong and you should feel bad. And it was AWESOME! So I had to make a blingee for Torts too.

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Markus Naslund is in town! The Canucks play the Leafs. It’s going to be a good night.

The 12 Days of Re – Wooing Luongo – Mas

So, wow. The Canucks goalie situation went from like a 10 on the bonkers scale to a 10 million on the bonkers scale. But, well, here we are. Back in hockey bed with Roberto Luongo who was, to put it mildly, not exactly treated like a King by Vancouver for the last 2 years or so. Basically, a completely Vancouver Canucks thing to happen when you think about it. Now the Canucks are red faced and have to convince a scorned Luongo that no they really DO love him! They were just confused, baby. Lost in a Cup-less world, searching for answers. They’ve come to their senses! Or they had money issues and no other choice! But mostly the latter!

Now Mike Gillis and the Aquilinis and Torts are flying down to Florida to woo Luongo back and it’s all terribly awkward and embarrassing. But here is how I see it going down…

On the first day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the second day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…two Lamborghinis and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the third day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the fourth day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the fifth day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the sixth day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…six box sets of The Jersey Shore, five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the seventh day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…seven pizzas from Italy, six box sets of The Jersey Shore, five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the eighth day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…eight front row seats to a taping of The Bachelor, seven pizzas from Italy, six box sets of The Jersey Shore, five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the ninth day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…nine puppies, eight front row seats to a taping of The Bachelor, seven pizzas from Italy, six box sets of The Jersey Shore, five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the tenth day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…ten tubes of high end hair product, nine puppies, eight front row seats to a taping of The Bachelor, seven pizzas from Italy, six box sets of The Jersey Shore, five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

On the eleventh day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…eleven backup goaltenders who only want to play a few games, ten tubes of high end hair product, nine puppies, eight front row seats to a taping of The Bachelor, seven pizzas from Italy, six box sets of The Jersey Shore, five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie.

On the twelfth day of Re-wooing Luongo-mas my Gillis and Aquilini gave to me…twelve disguises to avoid the media, eleven backup goaltenders who only want to play a few games, ten tubes of high end hair product, nine puppies, eight front row seats to a taping of The Bachelor, seven pizzas from Italy, six box sets of The Jersey Shore, five dart boards with Alain Vigneault’s face, four man dates with Grant Fuhr, three poker tables, two Lamborghinis, and one all inclusive trip to Hawaii with James Duthie

Hiring Week With Torts!

During John Tortorella’s press conference, both he and Gillis mentioned the “extensive hiring process” Torts went through to land the Canucks coaching gig. The Humming Giraffe was lucky enough to find out exactly what this extensive hiring process looked like. What follows is a completely accurate summary of what took place.

On day 1 Torts had to play Daniel or Henrik? As you can see he had a little trouble…

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On day 2, Torts visited the Grouse Grind. This was a two step process. First he had to push Alex Burrows up the grind in a cart.

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Then, Torts had to pose naked at the top of the hike with Ryan Kesler. Goodness gracious.

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On day 3, Torts did sit ups with Chris Higgins in the park.

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This was already quite a lot of hard work to put in, but the hiring process wasn’t over yet. Next, Torts had to build a school with Dan “I’m an angel” Hamhuis.

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Now for a much needed break from the physical exertion, Torts was scheduled to go shopping with Alex Edler.

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This hiring process was getting PRETTY wacky. But the Canucks weren’t done yet. On this day, Torts went to the salon with Zack Kassian because he promised he’d get a sweet skullet.

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The next day, Torts was given a breather from the Canucks players and their…hobbies and went to the casino with Gillis.

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Torts was really impressing everyone so far after this busy week. There was just one last thing left before he could be hired. He had to learn the Canucks Kool-aid buzz words!

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And with that John Tortorella was the next Canucks coach. Hooray!

Wherein My Team Makes Me All Gushy About Sports

I spend a lot of time thinking about sports, and more specifically, why watching sports matters. Seriously, a lot of time. I’m sure I’m weird, but it keeps me up at night sometimes. A lot of nasty things happen that tend to be centered around sports. It’s easy to start wondering why you bother supporting something so strongly that can have such a dark edge.

Then, if you fall in love with a team like the Canucks who always manage to lose it all in the most hulk smash of your heart way possible, you really start to wonder why you bother watching sports. But, sports do matter.

They matter for me because they connect me to people. They make me feel a part of something. Sometimes life isn’t going how you imagined it is supposed to. Sometimes all that’s getting you through a day is knowing you can turn on your TV at night and watch some Swedish twins score a beautiful goal. Other times, you are shuffling along in a fabulous mood, and hockey is just an excuse to energetically cheer and clap and put a voice to your fabulous mood.

The Canucks have shown me twice this week that sports matter. This article from the team website about a transgender goalie named Cory and his meeting with Cory Schneider is amazing. The Canucks have been one of the pioneers for LGBT support in sports and it continues to be one of my favourite things about them.

How wonderful that in a society that is so often ignorant or insulting to transgender individuals, Cory Schneider and the Canucks are saying you’re important and we support you.

The Canucks also announced an initiative with the other Canadian teams in the NHL called Hockey Talks to encourage people to speak out about mental illness.

Here’s an article from The Province about Rick Rypien’s story and more details about Hockey Talks. This issue is especially meaningful to me, and I couldn’t be happier the Canucks are spearheading it.

It’s really incredible to hear your team vocally support such important and valuable issues. Sports do matter.

The Humming Giraffe is 5 Years Old

My blog is in kindergarten, yo. I know I’ve been a sporadic blogger the last year and a half, but I do plan to change that this year if the season ever gets off the ground. I was pretty convinced when I started I would write about a week’s worth of posts. Five years is rather wonderfully surprising.

Hockey blogging is one of the best things I’ve done. It’s given me a love for sports that I never had growing up. Thanks to blogging, I have an obsessive passion for writing I never expected. My nicest dreams involve being a comfortably paid published writer. And through this little website I have met some of the greatest people in my life.

Thank you to anyone who has left a comment here over the years, mentioned in passing that you loved reading my blog, re-tweeted a post on twitter, or told me I made you laugh. All these moments have meant a lot and have bucked me up if I’m not at my sparkling best. Y’all are the best. Here’s to five more years!

XOXO

Alix