Playoff predictions in the West

To be honest, I’m not that excited for the playoffs.  I kind of feel like a hussy trying to pick teams to cheer for that aren’t my BC boys.  But the playoffs cannot be denied.  So I will do my best to overcome my mixed feelings.  Playoff hockey is one of favourite things in the whole world, so I will just have to adjust.

Calgary Flames VS. San Jose Sharks

As classy as the Flames tribute was to Mr. Trevor Linden, I still cannot in good conscience cheer for the Flames.  I would have to trade in my Canucks fan card.  And Phaneuf celebrating a goal makes babies cry and scares puppies. Lombardi is pretty smoking though. 

The Sharks are kind of made of awesome.  Big Joe Thorton is one of my favourite players ever.  Nabokov is cute as a button and a pretty damn good goalie.  And Douglas Murray could be in the running for coolest man alive.  He’s Swedish and he beats guys up, the person he most wants to meet is the founder of IKEA, and he financed a business that makes kegs that pump out multiple beers at once! Seriously, I might hope for the Sharks to win the Cup just because of Douglas Murray.  Brian Campbell is kind of icky though.  He’s been a whiny bitch about Buffalo, and I dig Buffalo.  Sharks still win my cheering affections.  Sharks take this one in 6 games.

Dallas Stars VS. Anaheim Ducks

The Stars win out here easily for my cheering affections.  They have five Swedes for one thing.  They give charming interviews for another.  The Stars play a similar style to the Canucks and I really enjoy watching Zubov and Boucher.  And Fistric is totally bad ass. Hopefully Zubov can get back for some of the playoffs.  I would like to see the Stars finally get out of the first round again.

The Ducks are so, so icky.  Brad May is a very sweet dude and a great interview.  But overall, I loathe the Ducks.  Neidermeyer and Selanne’s “retirements” make them even more annoying this season.  After getting eliminated by the Ducks last year, nothing would please me more to see the Ducks booted in the first round.  I think this series will be very close.  The Stars take it in 7.

Minnesota Wild VS. Colorado Avalanche

This series deeply disturbs me.  It’s a lose/lose for me if either team wins this one.  I would prefer if wild animals ate all the players at center ice, or a giant hole opened up at the blue line and swallowed everyone on the ice.  Joe Sakic can live if he promises to play for the Canucks.:P But really, Minny fans boo Matty Ohlund, which I can’t condone, and Colorado has Forsberg the ballerina.  This series hurts me.  Kirsten from Land of Lakes and Hockey is awesome, so I’ll give a very slight nod to the Wild.  Wild in 7.

Detroit Red Wings VS. Nashville Predators

I don’t really like the Wings, but they have Lidstrom who is amazing.  He is unbelievably talented.  And the Wings are the land of the Swede so that’s a definite bonus.  Holmstrom is one of Matty Ohlund’s very good friends, so that must be a plus. 

The Predators are entirely loathsome.  Although Dan Ellis is quite a feel good story, I suppose.  Too many thugs though.  And they stole our playoff spot, those bitches!  How dare they play miles better than the Canucks down the stretch.  Wings win this one in 5.



5 thoughts on “Playoff predictions in the West

  1. Thanks for the shoutout! Joe Sakic is on my playoff shitlist right now. I told my friend Matt, who is not a hockey fan, to remove the Sakic Team Canada sweater from my house, because it’s fucking up Minnesota’s karma.

    I really hope the Habs sweep, because they are my eastern confernce team.

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