Dear Mr. Gillis,
If you get us a Stanley Cup, I will probably love you forever. Men in Vancouver will name their first born sons after you. You seem like a really smart dude, and I’m excited to see what you can do for the Canucks. It certainly hasn’t worked out for us so far. If I could just ask one teeny, tiny favour? Please don’t trade Matty Ohlund or ask him to waive his NTC. He’s awesome, and I think you want him around. Matty will play big minutes and even score you some goals, which you might have already heard the Canucks have trouble doing. Plus, I hear he makes a mean meatball. Thank you very much. Good luck with the Vancouver crazies and getting through the off season. Looking forward to seeing your team in September.
Sincerely, The Humming Giraffe