After that horrible break from hockey, the Stanley Cup Finals kick off tonight. I’m so ready for new playoff hockey! All the smarty pants hockey people are saying it will be a great series, and really, how can you go wrong with Geno and Sid on the one side, and Zetterberg and Datsyuk on the other? That’s some pretty sick talent right there. My only problem is that I don’t have any warm, fuzzy feelings for either of these teams. I don’t dislike them, I just don’t overly like them. So I’m having a hard time deciding who should get The Humming Giraffe’s cheering allegiance. There’s a few things I like about each team, and a couple of things I don’t.
1. I like Evgeni Malkin. Watching him play makes me want to learn Russian. I love watching him score, I love watching him skate, I love that he doesn’t appear to speak English. I love that he reportedly owned a theme restaurant in Russia. He’s been easily my favourite player to watch in the playoffs.
2. I like Sidney Crosby. Yes, he’s horribly over hyped by the media and the NHL, but I like watching him play. His facial hair is hideous, but he’s an adorable hockey playing robot. I could watch him pass the puck and start beautiful plays all day.
3. I like Maxime Talbot’s playoff beard. It really works for him. And I love that someone snapped a picture of him embracing Iceburgh, the Penguins mascot.
4. Ruutu is hilarious. He’s the only old Canuck getting close to a Cup.
5 Lidstrom is a totally hot bitch. He’s Swedish, and stunning, and classy, and extremely awesome at hockey. I could seriously watch him play defence all day.
6. Zetterberg is very fun to watch. And he’s Swedish. I like that he’s extremely talented offensively, but plays so strongly defensively as well. He’s also kind of hot.
7. Tomas Holmstrom has a ghetto booty, and he always seems to be getting it in goalie’s faces. It kind of cracks me up when it’s not the Canucks he’s doing it to. And I hear him and Matty Ohlund are BFF, so he must be an awesome dude.
8. Darren Helm, the Detroit rookie, has caught my eye. I saw him play in the Memorial Cup final last year, and he skates really well with Detroit.
1. I hate the amount of media slurpage there will be if the Penguins win the Cup. Everyone will be so amazed about Sidney Crosby winning his first Cup, and they won’t shut up about for weeks. I may have to leave the country if this happens.
2. I would be annoyed if the Penguins won with Marian Hossa. Big, showy trade deadline rentals aren’t supposed to work out.
3. I was totally not impressed with Osgood’s dive after Riberio slashed him in the Dallas series. There’s no way a slash on his chest protector hurt so much that he had to roll around in his crease for that long. Saying his butt end to Riberio’s face was a total accident was quite lame too. I have a hard time rooting for him after that.
4. I loathe Chris Chelios. He’s a jackass, and he’s said some rude stuff about Trev Linden. I wish he would retire already. Maybe he’ll just sit out the series. That would help me cheer for Detroit.
So, my likes and dislikes are pretty much even. I guess I’ll have to watch a couple of games and see what happens. I’m maybe leaning to Detroit, because it’s basically a second Sweden over there. Who are you all cheering for? And why? I’d love to hear what you think in the comments.