So, anybody ready to mainline Prozac yet? This off season hasn’t just been bad, it’s more like a disaster. I feel like we should start labelling the progress (or lack of progress) with crisis colours or words. Let’s summarize the awful happenings so far, shall we?
1. Luc Bourdon(RIP), arguably our best defence prospect, and quality human being, is tragically killed while riding his motorcycle.
2. Our much maligned Captain leaves us for the greener pastures of the filthy Rangers, worsening our already anemic offence. You can argue all you want about Nazzy’s time being done here, and needing to move on, but the team as it stands is worse than it was with him. Plus, it doesn’t make the Canucks look good letting their franchise leading scorer walk away with not even an offer to stay, or even a heartfelt goodbye.
3. The Canucks appear to be the new version of Edmonton, and NO ONE wants to sign here. Vancouver is a pretty quality city to live, it makes top ten lists in the world and everything, so I don’t think it’s the city itself. I think no one wants to sign here because,
A) The Canucks look like a total disorganized, slightly insane gong show. The owners favourite activity appears to be GM killing. There is never a sense of security or progress. Our coach is not known as Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows. And the team as it stands now is mind numbingly awful on paper.
B) The travel. While Vancouver is a great place to live, there’s no getting around that Vancouver has the worst travel amount in the league.
4. Having just mentioned that no one wants to sign here, the GM low balls a heart and soul guy who loves playing in Vancouver, and didn’t want to play anywhere else, with a $1.9 one year deal. Mo’s played his ass off for the Canucks for years, and this was an insulting slap in the face. Guys five years older than him that are lesser players were getting at least $2.5. Yes, he was on the injury train this season, but still it’s insulting. Gillis, when no one else wants to play for your club, you have to dial back the douche bag. The Canucks look ever so classy once this is publicised.
5. Mike Gillis throws an absolutely bonkers offer of $20 million at Mats Sundin and Mars (I just realized I left this typo in by mistake, but wouldn’t it be awesome if a player’s name actually was Mars?) Sundin shows the world that people don’t even want to play for the Canucks for $20 million.
6. Apparently *Gasp* all the other GMs hate Gillis and want nothing to do with him on the trade front. This hasn’t been actually verified though, it’s just the word around the playground. (Updated: Darcy Regier is now our friend! YAY!)
7. Who’s left to sign? Big Bert? Somehow I think suing your employer might put a wrench in things.
I am not feeling inspired. This team feels like it’s circling the toilet. It’s too late to turn in my fan card, I suppose. Damn. In retrospect, I probably picked the worst time to become a die hard Canucks fan. Right when the WCE started to lose its dominance, and then right into the fun, fun times of AV’s tenure. I’m not too sure what Hockey God I managed to piss off so royally, but it’s got to turn around sometime, right?
Updated- Well, look at that! Just as I’m writing a horribly depressing post, the Canucks get Steve Bernier in a trade from Buffalo for some picks. We’re still not in great shape, but this is a really nice move. Bernier’s a big boy and a RW. Rolling with the Sedins, perhaps? While it must have been tough for the guy to bounce from the Sharks to the Sabres to the Canucks this year, I think he’ll enjoy Vancouver. He can speak french with AV and Lui and Burr and we love guys that can actually score some goals. His nickname is Big Bear. How adorable is that? Plus, he’s pretty.