Letter To The World

Dear Universe,

I’m exhausted. Last night was awful and embarrassing, yes. I’m very sorry that hit happened and I’m incredibly sorry that Nathan Horton was injured so badly. I’m sorry that Aaron Rome is been vilified and called awful names by people that sit on their couch and don’t realize how damn fast hockey is. I’m sorry that two guys have had their Stanley Cup Final dreams cut a few games short.

But most of all, I’m sorry I’m a Canucks fan. Thank you for showing me the errors of my ways. Silly me! I might as well run a puppy mill or be a serial killer. That’s how heinous being a Canucks fan is, right? Karma wise I might as well just jump into a river. And my most profuse apologies for daring to love a team through thick and thin. How stupid of me to root for Manny Malhotra and Sami Salo for coming back from potentially career ending injuries. They’re just a bunch of filthy divers, right? How hideous of me to cheer for the undrafted biting wonder or Ryan Kesler for leaving everything he has on the ice to such a degree that you can see the pain etched on his face.

How wonderful for you that you follow a team of choir boys while all the devils in the league skate for the Canucks. How nice for you that your team has never skated the line and embellished something because they want to win so badly. It’s a real shame my team is the only one that has ever made a questionable hit.

Thank you for painting all Canucks fans with the same unsavory brush. I’m sure you would all be just fine with your fanbases being lumped in with their lowest common denominators as well.

And if the Canucks do end up winning it all, I’m awfully sorry that the world will probably cease to be from the horror of it. My bad!

Hugs and kisses,

A revolting Canucks fan

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5 thoughts on “Letter To The World

  1. Pingback: SCFblog Links for 6-7-2011 and a Note to the Challenge Takers | Jerseys and Hockey Love

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