Thoughts And Things Before Game Two

– Do you know why hockey players get labeled as boring? It’s because the SECOND they say ANYTHING funny or interesting or honest people FREAK out and jump all over them. Cory Schneider, after getting a little fed up with the constant “hated Canucks” narrative that is pedaled like girl guide cookies, said that nobody cares about Edmonton so nobody hates them. It was a snarky harmless observation about a division rival. But after seeing a bunch of grief from overly sensitive Edmonton fans Cory apologized for it today! Boooooo! The same goes for some Canucks fans getting overly annoyed with the LA Kings tweet after game one. It’s a game! It’s fun! Take a deep breath and remember to enjoy otherwise we’re just going to see “110% interviews” from hockey players and teams till the end of time. YAWN.

– I would be happy if we had a moratorium on the hand wringing over the Canucks crowd being too quiet. The upper bowl is almost always loud, the lower bowl largely isn’t. That’s a fact. But unless the Canucks are going to adjust their ticket prices there are ALWAYS going to be quiet suits there. And frankly I’m tired of going to games this year and cheering my voice box out and coming home and reading a bunch of people whining about how quiet we were on TV. The Rogers Arena crowd is never going to be loud enough for most people. So please let’s stop talking about it because it’s boring and a waste of time. Be a loud boisterous fan if that yanks your chain and move on!

– Keith Ballard is back tonight, baby! As a Ballard fan club card-carrying member I am thrilled. I just hope he relaxes and has a good game and isn’t tied to the press box for the rest of the playoffs if AV doesn’t like his defensive game. I’ll be sending out good thoughts for him tonight.

– I like Mason Raymond. More than most Canucks fans it seems. I would rather see Max Lapierre on the first line with Hank tonight though. I thought they were pretty fabulous together along with Burrows while Danny’s been out. Plus I like the mental image of Drew Doughty getting annoyed with the double the fun double the troll duo of Lapierre and Burrows on the ice at the same time.

– Ryan Kesler has a terrible secret. He’s a two face.

 

Good Ryan Kesler cannot be stopped. He hits, scores, shuts down other offensive stars, poses naked for magazines, and wins Selke trophies. Good Ryan Kesler is like a viking hero who has epic poems and manly sonnets written about him. It’s lock up your wives, lock up your daughters, hand over the key to your city time. The Canucks are pretty much unbeatable and terrifying when Good Ryan Kesler is in the house. Bad Ryan Kesler is a different story. Bad Ryan Kesler whines to the referees, and flops around like a cirque du soleil performer shot out of a cannon, and lets other teams stars score goals, and doesn’t score any himself. Bad Ryan Kesler has stupid photoshops made with him standing on a diving board by other hockey fans. With Bad Ryan Kesler showing up for game 1 I’m sure we’ll see Good Ryan Kesler in tonight’s game. Get ready to gird your loins.

– I am cheering for the Panthers and the Coyotes in the first round quite vigorously. Yay good story untraditional markets! Down with Canadian hockey snobs!

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