I Hope Duncan Keith…

With the news that Danny Sedin is not travelling with the Canucks to LA for games 3 and 4 and will probably not be able to play for the rest of this series, Canucks fans are REALLY mad at Duncan Keith. I’ve always found it icky to wish an actual injury on someone else so I  tried to express my annoyance at Duncan Keith in a…healthier way. 

I hope Duncan Keith stubs his toe repeatedly on his coffee table.

I hope Duncan Keith gets pizza but then eats it too fast so the roof of his mouth has that annoying burnt feeling all day.

I hope Duncan Keith trips and falls in front of his crush.

I hope Duncan Keith goes to hammer a nail and hits his thumb instead.

I hope Duncan Keith buys his favourite candy out of a vending machine and then it gets stuck and eats his coins.

I hope Duncan Keith buys an ice cream cone and then his 2 scoop falls off the cone into the mud.

I hope Duncan Keith misses the Hawks jet and then has to fly coach. In a middle seat. Next to a crying baby.

I hope Duncan Keith is just starting to get busy with his lady and then he pictures Dustin Byfuglien in a banana hammock.

I hope the Blackhawks give out candy grams and there’s 4 for you Brent Seabrook and none for you Duncan Wieners, bye.

I hope Duncan Keith is out for a walk in the sunshine, listening to his fave song on his iPod, and he steps in dog poop.

I hope Duncan Keith was told Bruce Willis was dead all along BEFORE he went to see The Sixth Sense.

I hope Duncan Keith’s favourite character in Game of Thrones is Ned Stark.

I hope there’s a flood where Duncan Keith lives and he’s NOT wearing flood pants. Everything is not coming up Duncan Keith.

I hope Duncan Keith is at a loud dance party and he yells something super embarrassing in his date’s ear RIGHT when the music shuts off.

I hope Duncan Keith is working on his night cheese and he drops it and before he picks it up his dog licks it.

I hope Duncan Keith likes to see Sean Bean live in movies and television shows.

I hope Duncan Keith is going to sleep and he hears a mosquito but when he flicks on the light he can’t find it. For hours.

I hope Duncan Keith thinks the Hunger Games is about kids having a food fight.

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