Hiring Week With Torts!

During John Tortorella’s press conference, both he and Gillis mentioned the “extensive hiring process” Torts went through to land the Canucks coaching gig. The Humming Giraffe was lucky enough to find out exactly what this extensive hiring process looked like. What follows is a completely accurate summary of what took place.

On day 1 Torts had to play Daniel or Henrik? As you can see he had a little trouble…


On day 2, Torts visited the Grouse Grind. This was a two step process. First he had to push Alex Burrows up the grind in a cart.


Then, Torts had to pose naked at the top of the hike with Ryan Kesler. Goodness gracious.


On day 3, Torts did sit ups with Chris Higgins in the park.


This was already quite a lot of hard work to put in, but the hiring process wasn’t over yet. Next, Torts had to build a school with Dan “I’m an angel” Hamhuis.


Now for a much needed break from the physical exertion, Torts was scheduled to go shopping with Alex Edler.


This hiring process was getting PRETTY wacky. But the Canucks weren’t done yet. On this day, Torts went to the salon with Zack Kassian because he promised he’d get a sweet skullet.


The next day, Torts was given a breather from the Canucks players and their…hobbies and went to the casino with Gillis.


Torts was really impressing everyone so far after this busy week. There was just one last thing left before he could be hired. He had to learn the Canucks Kool-aid buzz words!


And with that John Tortorella was the next Canucks coach. Hooray!


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