Geno Is A Crazy Awesome Russian

Evgeni Malkin is fast becoming my favourite player to watch in the playoffs.  I knew he was good, but since he plays in the East, I rarely saw him play this season.  I’m definitely watching more Penguins games next year, and I don’t even really like the Penguins that much.  In the game last night, Malkin was absolutely sick and his second goal was hilarious!  He gets smushed by Richards, then waits around to get a pass, and scores on a shorthanded breakaway with a slap shot.  Dude’s got some balls to try that on the penalty kill.  I love that it somehow didn’t bite him in the ass.  And I love that because he doesn’t speak a ton of English, at least in public, he’s not being over hyped.  The Humming Giraffe might have to own up to Malkin being our conference final boyfriend.

10th Overall Come On Down!

This off season thing kind of sucks.  I’m already pretty bored.  My fingers are crossed that free agency and the draft are successful for the Canucks.  Gillis is still not revealing too much in interviews, which I suppose is a good move when it comes to wheeling and dealing with other GMs, but it makes it rather dull for the everyday fan.  He seems like a smart dude, which makes me think I should be optimistic, yet it’s ingrained into a Canucks fan to expect the worst at all times, so I’m not totally sold. 

One benefit to the Canucks having an epic flame out at the end of the season is a very tasty draft pick.  They get to pick tenth overall, and this year’s draft is reported to be deep in talent, so they should be getting a very nice player.  The Humming Giraffe decided to investigate what hot bitches were projected to go 10th overall, and get to know them a little better.  I’m sure they will all look fabulous in the Canucks sweater.

                

Colin Wilson is all American and plays for Boston University.  He’s 6′1″ and 215 pounds and plays forward.  From an NHL.com feature, scouts say this about Wilson, “His skill level is excellent, he has great hands, incredible vision, he sees the puck flow very, very well.  Excellent hockey sense, quick feet.”  Sounds pretty great, eh?  He admires Chris Drury and Rod Brind’Amour and is a strong two way player.  Wilson loves to work out and is a total cutie to boot.  I would love it if the Canucks ended up getting him in June.

Zach Boychuk was born in Alberta and plays for the Lethbridge Hurricanes in the WHL.  He had 72 points in 61 games this season, and won a gold medal with the Canadian World Junior team.  Boychuk is 5′9″ but likes to play physical and works hard.  He sounds like a great guy to have on your team, and there is a lot of smaller guys playing in the NHL recently.  Boychuk really knows how to rock a team Canada picture too.

Colin Wilson and Zach Boychuk are two hot bitches that I would love to have on the Canucks.  Keep up the good work, boys!

 

 

I got your rumours and some other odds and ends

A few media people, including the Team 1040, Canucks radio, have reported that Nazzy has been showing Pavol Demitra around Vancouver.  It amuses me imagining those two strutting down Robson Street together.  They were both former clients of Gillis, so it makes sense that they are friendly.  I had pretty much decided that Nazzy was not coming back to Vancouver, but this makes things much more interesting.  Why would Nazzy be spending the time showing Demitra the beautiful sites of Vancouver if he had no interest in playing again in the city?  Is Gillis going to try and get some guys for Nazzy to mesh with?  I guess we won’t know anything for sure until closer to July and free agency.

One of Jannick Hansen’s goals with Denmark was put on YouTube, and it was a beauty.  He snuck it through a defender’s legs and then sniped it high over the goalie.  He’s not talked up as a top 6 forward, although I think he could be a very solid third liner with Kes and Burr.  I hope we get to see him on the roster next season.

That Sharks/Stars game last night was fantastic!  The speed was incredible, the goalies were going insane and making saves to one up each other, and it just kept going and going!  It’s delighful we finally got to see a marathon OT game.  There’s nothing better than playoff OT hockey when it’s played like that. 

I’m a little brokenhearted about the Sharks.  They were my playoffs love affair, and now it’s over.  I think Patty Marleau should come to Vancouver.  He must be so stressed from all the negativity.  And the quiet, sensitive Captain that gets abused spot is already filled, so he doesn’t have to worry. Hee.

Canada and the USA play in the world championships tomorrow.  I’m really looking forward to that game.  There’s a lot of very good players on both sides and it should be fun to watch.

Random Hockey Thoughts As I Try To Pretend I Don’t Miss The Canucks

The Canucks wore me out this year, but I’m refreshed from my break from them, and am now slowly reaching the point where I want them to play again.  I have a faint longing for October and the start of new hockey, when feelings about the Canucks are still positive, and the season is stretched out before me, filled with possibility.  I’m sure this isn’t healthy, and will lead to a very long off season, so I’m ignoring said feelings and trying to distract myself with the hockey that I do have. 

 

 -I have become totally attached to the Sharks.  Patrick Marleau is my playoffs boyfriend, and watching him streak in on Marty Turco shorthanded is way too much fun.  When the playoffs started, I picked them to root for because I figured they were a safe pick.  They didn’t have the Canucks like underdog vibe, and surely couldn’t break my heart.  Then, they kind of started sucking, and had a slacker vibe going on, which somehow made me love them more.  Apparently, I dig the slackers.

 

 -The Wings are extremely pretty to watch.  Zetterberg’s goal against the Avalanche in the last game of the series was absolutely sick.  Behind the back shot as he’s falling to the ice, top shelf and in.  I also like how it seems like they are fifty percent European.  I want them to do well and shut up the Don Cherry like people of the world.

 

 -Every time R.J Umberger scores in these playoffs, a tiny bit of me cries inside.  Thanks, Burkie!  It’s maybe not quite as bad as giving up Cam Neely, but still pretty damn depressing.

 

  -I’m fairly upset the Habs were eliminated.  They were the last Canadian team standing, and I liked watching them.  But they didn’t really deserve to win this series.  It’s probably the best for the city, considering the riots after round 1.  Montreal might not have been left standing if they got to the finals.  

 

 -Canada has dominated so far in the World Championships, which isn’t too surprising because they’ve only played Slovenia and Latvia.  That being said, the Nash/Getzlaf/Heatley is gorgeous to watch, and should probably dominate through out the tournament.  I found Kopitar charming and adorable when he talked about Slovenia wanting to hold Canada to five goals.  He also said that he knows people don’t think Slovenia is the most talented team, but they just want to have some fun.

 

  -Jannick Hansen, a baby Canuck, had a really good year with the Manitoba Moose, and is playing for Denmark in the World Championships.  While they’ve lost their games so far, he’s had a couple of goals and assists.(Edited to add that Denmark only lost their first game, and won against Italy. Jannick scored the game winner! My bad.)

 

 -Sweden cut Alex Edler from their team.  Not cool, Sweden, not cool at all.  But I guess he gets more time to rest, and can come back next season and be even more badass.

 

 -I’m looking forward to watching both conference finals, they should both be very entertaining, although the media coverage will be highly annoying and hard to ignore if the Penguins win the Cup.  While I have a massive hockey crush on Malkin, I don’t think I’ll be able to take it.

 

 -Will Mike Gillis give us some idea what he’s going to do with the Canucks soon? I’m getting bored.

Get well soon, Nazzy!

I recently read that Nazzy had surgery on his elbow to remove loose bone chips.  Nazzy is a favourite here at the Humming Giraffe, and I hope the surgery went well.  This probably explains why his wrist shot hasn’t looked as dangerous as it used to.  Hopefully the surgery helped him, and he still has a few years of hockey left.  I would love to see him back in a Canucks sweater, but I bet the system will have to change for that to happen. 

Here are some get well gifts to help you through your recovery and long off season, Nazzy.  The guys always seem to talk about you liking junk food, so I figured these were appropriate.

                                            

 

  

Note to the new GM

Dear Mr. Gillis,

If you get us a Stanley Cup, I will probably love you forever.  Men in Vancouver will name their first born sons after you.  You seem like a really smart dude, and I’m excited to see what you can do for the Canucks.  It certainly hasn’t worked out for us so far.  If I could just ask one teeny, tiny favour?  Please don’t trade Matty Ohlund or ask him to waive his NTC.  He’s awesome, and I think you want him around.  Matty will play big minutes and even score you some goals, which you might have already heard the Canucks have trouble doing.  Plus, I hear he makes a mean meatball.  Thank you very much.  Good luck with the Vancouver crazies and getting through the off season.  Looking forward to seeing your team in September. 

Sincerely, The Humming Giraffe

Canucks fans in limbo and random playoff thoughts

It seems like the new spring activity is guessing who the new Canucks GM will be.  Everyone is throwing out names like it’s going out of style.  Player agents seem to be popular.  And I even heard Pierre McGuire mentioned several times(lay off the crack pipe, people).  The longer we don’t here directly from the Aquilinis, the more I think we’re going to have this dude as the new GM

Trades Luongo for a box of bananas

I had picked the Canadiens to come out of the East before the playoffs had even started, and was cheering for them to begin with. They haven’t looked like the power house everyone was saying they were.  All of a sudden, half way through this series, I realized I was pulling harder for the Bruins.  I love Milan Lucic, and the Bruins are hardworking and scrappy. 

I would love it if the Sharks could squash the Flames tonight.  I’m getting tired of seeing all the ugly Flames sweaters around campus.

If the Ducks get eliminated by the Stars, it would pretty much make my year.

I don’t particularly like the Wild, but I hate the AVS even more and I’m annoyed that they are moving on. 

I can’t wait to watch Malkin in the second round.

Dave Nonis fired!

This one caught me completely by surprise.  Sure, it was a disappointing year, but I figured he would have this summer to try and fix the problems.  I guess Aquilini wanted his own guy as GM.  From what I heard from Ryan Kesler on the radio, he was shocked and very disappointed.  I think Nonis could have done some good things for the franchise this summer, but then again, I’m not an owner.  I feel bad for Nonis, everyone says he is a very nice man.  I hope it works out for him.  This news makes the off season even more interesting and causes many more questions.

Who is the new GM?

Who gets resigned? Nazzy? Mo?

Does AV get fired too?

Reports were saying Nonis was very close to signing super Swedish prospect Fabian Brunnstrom, does that still happen with Nonis gone?

If Trev Linden is retiring, does he still get a position with Canucks management if he wants it?

Do the prospects like Edler, Raymond, and Bourdon stay with the Canucks?

There is a press conference scheduled for 11 am tomorrow morning, so some questions may get answered.  This off season will not be boring, that’s for sure.

Updated: So the press conference was kind of a gong show.  Aquilini was dodging the difficult questions, and kept repeating the word leadership over and over again.  But then couldn’t explain what his definition of leadership was.  He said that Nonis was fired because he wants a competitive team long term, but then kept talking about he and the fans being disappointed they missed the playoffs.  It doesn’t sound like he has much of a plan.  Maybe he’s just a poor public speaker.  I can sympathize with that, because I find it terrifying.  But I’m sure not filled with confidence about this whole situation.

Newly crowned playoff hot bitches

The playoffs have been awesome so far!  While I was heartbroken about the Canucks being eliminated, it`s actually very fun and relaxing not having a team in the playoffs.  I can just sit back and enjoy the hockey and not worry about how the games turn out.  It`s very liberating, and has given me time for some very shallow appreciation of dudes on other teams.  With the Canucks out, a girl has to occupy her time somehow.     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

                Douglas Murray

          Patrick Marleau

 

                                  Carey Price                                         

          

                   Mark Fistric                 

                             

                             Milan Lucic

                                                                                    

                       Evgeni Malkin 

                      

                             Paulie Martin             

                            

Playoff Predictions in the East

Ottawa Senators VS. Pittsburgh Penguins

I don’t know a whole lot about these teams, but I think the Penguins have all the good mojo going into this series.  The Senators have been falling apart in the second half of the season, and with their Capitano and  Fisher out of this round, I don’t believe they have it against the Penguins.  I have a massive hockey crush on Malkin right now, so I would adore it if the Penguins continued on.  Plus Fleury could shut some bitches up about his playoff skills.  Penguins move on in 6 games.

Boston Bruins VS. Montreal Canadiens

I am digging the Montreal Canadiens right now.  Hard core.  They are fun to watch and skilled and I like a ton of their players.  Not a Swede which is too bad, but they have many Europeans, which probably gives Don Cherry fits.  That is never a bad thing.  Carey Price is a BC boy, and I would love to see him rock the playoffs. 

I don’t know nearly enough about Boston.  I know they play strong defensive hockey.  The huge reason why I want Boston to succeed in the playoffs is because of Milan Lucic.  He’s another BC boy and a total beast and fan favourite in Boston, and I hear he’s a total sweetheart on top of all that. Habs take it in 5 games.

New Jersey Devils VS. New York Rangers

I’ve come to love the Devils quite a bit since I’ve spent so much time hanging out at IPB.  Marty Brodeur is a fantastic fat goalie and Paulie Martin is one of my favourite d men in the East. Clarkson is a very hot energy guy indeed.  The Devils are low scoring, which puts me at ease because that’s what the Canucks are too. 

The Rangers are disgusting and must be stopped.  They are full of slag faced whores.  I guess they do have some fairly ok, overpaid talent though.  The Devils win this series in 7.

Washington Capitals VS. Philadelphia Flyers

This was the year of Ovechkin, and I kind of feel like I’ve already had enough of the Capitals with all the media slurpage that’s been going on.  I almost want to refuse to like or watch the Capitals on principal.  But it’s hard to deny that they’re amazingly fun to watch.  I know nothing about the Flyers except that they’re horribly thuggy and have a gagillion suspensions.  Simon Gagne was the one Flyer I liked this year, but he was quickly out with a concussion.  I would not want the Flyers to move on. Capitals in 7 games.

I know the playoffs started already, but I didn’t have a chance to post this until tonight!